It's the Most Wonderful Time of the…..Well Crap!

Yep, that's right, this week has just been throwing me for loops and I've had several occasions just over this past week of me somehow being covered in some kind of bodily fluid…from my son. To start, we had a massive heart to heart when I explained to Chrispy that spitting in my face, yes may be funny, but totally is gross and I almost want to cry every time he does it…just weird. We also now have a case of serious diaper rash do to his lack of letting me change his diaper or hiding that he actually went poop. When I finally did get him pinned down to change his diaper it was the worst #2's in the world!! I was  confused, puzzled, and wondering what the hell I've been feeding him and if it is possible for a baby just  to live on crackers so there is no more weird poop….real questions people! I also didn't enjoy the poop that somehow would end up on the carpet, my hands, and yes, my jeans from him wiggling and moving about as I'm trying to clean up his HORSE SIZE DUMPs!

But these are just a few of the bodily fluids that have graced me this week, the best is yet to come! :) After a long week of disappointment, sadness, grief, depression, and sheer panic that I might run out of wine at any moment…he threw up on me. And not just in any "at home where no one can see kind of thing"….like, in public, at my favorite grocer, with about 150 people watching. I wasn't mad or upset, I was completely taken by surprise and couldn't do anything more than pat his back and tell him to "get it all out baby"…right on me.  My face could of spoke a thousand words to everyone around me. I was so horrified but at the same time completely understanding of the circumstance…and so were others. People were asking me left and right if I was okay and tried their best to help me "clean up" my new Ann Taylor sweater without throwing up themselves. Seriously, amazing people!! I said thank you about a million times before we walked right back out the doors and walked to car…did I mention it was pouring rain by now…I know, like a really bad movie. By the time we got to the car, I was drenched but carried on…after all, it could only help the smell at this point. I put Chrispy in his car seat and removed all of his threw up clothes and tossed them in the back of the car, strapped him in, and began peeling off my clothes to only leave me with a tiny white tank top and my jeans on….he even got my shoes :( Of course what made it worst was realizing that this old man was staring me down as I was undressing in the parking lot to leave me with a only a see-through tank…what a jerk!

(well, this sucks face driving home from the madness)

Can I say thank God for car heaters?…. since it was only 40 degree outside and yes, raining!!! By the time we got home we were what seemed to be okay, he hadn't thrown up in the car which I was so grateful for….because he saved it for when we got inside the house to do it right on the carpet I had cleaned just two days prior…isn't he sweet? I swear…I'm being punished for something but can't even remember what for…or it's just motherhood at its finest giving me a reality check for maybe feeling a bit low lately. Regardless of the cause, lets just pray I can make it out of this week without having to clean the carpet again…that would be nice.

Hope every one's weekend goes better than mine!